Multilingual God

Life in the Philippines can be pretty slow at times. It's funny, many people here talk about their “busy schedule” – but for most, it isn’t that busy at all. I think that if these people were to see how rushed things are in America, they’d be amazed. We are all in such a hurry for nothing in particular. Sometimes it’s nice to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. I have to admit, though – I am naturally a person who likes to be busy, so all this relaxation is starting to get to me. I’d like to have more things to do. I have become addicted to Francine River’s “Mark of the Lion” trilogy, but am worried that once I finish the books I will become more easily bored. (This is a great Christian series, if you’re ever looking for one.)

Here’s what’s been going on since my last post (Wed. August 16):

On Friday (Aug. 17) there was a pastor’s conference here at the main church. I attended the morning service, then ate lunch with everyone and planned on relaxing or talking to the Bible students for the rest of the day, while the pastors had meetings. I wound up spending several hours in conversation with one student named Michal, a 17 year old girl who moved to Laoag this year from 10 hours away to begin Bible school. Over the past few days I’ve found that we have a lot in common and are going through many of the same things. One struggle we both have is – “Why did you bring me here, God?” We also both have a heart for the young people and a desire to somehow make a difference in them. Through our conversations this week she’s been a huge encouragement to me, particularly through sharing things that God has spoken to her about me. I know now that one of the main (if not the only) reasons God brought me here this year is for this youth group. I long to see a shift in their hearts, their desires and their priorities. One thing in particular that I am hoping to see is a move toward more Spirit-led worship. Right now, praise & worship often consists of just singing song – the flow of the Holy Spirit is “broken,” as Michal put it (she is also praying for this move toward Spirit-led worship).

Michal and I will be leading the “learning new songs” week – the second Friday in September. We have to choose 4 songs and will be teaching them to the young people….One we have already picked is Hillsong United’s “Hosanna.” I know that the songs don’t really matter when it comes to worship, but I am praying that God will show us the right songs to teach them. Maybe in the process we can introduce a completely new atmosphere of worship that isn’t as structured as it is now.

I have had several opportunities (mostly over the weekend) to be around the young people in the church and get to know them better. (Of course, I already knew most of them – but God is establishing friendships rather than acquaintances…) I wonder if this is related to the ministry I will have with the young people – if these friendships will pave the way for deeper ministry. I’ve been asking God to show me specific people and how I can be used in their lives – because I feel like I am not only supposed to work in the youth group as a whole, but in certain members who have more specific needs. In the meantime, I’m enjoying hanging out with the kids in the church here. They remind me a lot of my youth group at home (in some ways – but they are different in others).

The other night as I was praying, I asked the Lord what he wanted me to show these young people, what it was that I had that He wanted me to teach them. He told me (in Ilocano!!!) – “your desire.” I am excited to have received some answers about my role here, even if I don’t know exactly how things will play out. Pray that God continues to increase my patience while I am here, in all areas of my life.

Finally, I have become much more comfortable with the Bible students. They are still much shyer than the young people in the church (Pastor Florie tells me that the youth group here were drawn to me from the beginning, much more than any other person my age who’s been here – was this God’s way of opening doors for my ministry to them?), but they’re not as shy as they have been in the past. My English class is going well – I am teaching basic parts of speech and am trying to make class more fun. They students have been participating and seem to be enjoying themselves, so I hope they’re learning.

Thank you for your prayers and support….

love,k

Questions

Here is a journal entry I wrote earlier this afternoon:

Before I left the states, I was already looking forward to May 20th (the day I come home). Now, I'm back to - "I don't want to leave!!" I'm dreading May 20th. I wish I didn't have to turn in college apps between November and January. . . . I wish I could just "go with the flow" until May, then see where I'm at.

Of course, I want to go to college! But leaving Laoag is so hard. Coming back after college, or even during summer and winter breaks from college, just wouldn't feel the same. Sometimes I wonder why God didn't just make me a Filipino, if I was going to love the Philippines so much.

It would make the most sense to:
1. Leave May 20
2. Go to college
3. Get a degree (maybe even go to med. school)
4. Follow God's plan for my life -- do some sort of missions

I just have all this stuff running through my head. Ugh. Like -- I know God is going to use me more in the Philippines in the future, maybe even longer-term; I know that God made me smart for a reason and that I should use that (aka go to college); I know that before moving to any country for good, there are a lot of details to work out; I know that plane tickets are expensive. But I also know that God doesn't follow our plans; He follows His own -- which don't always make sense to us.

I feel like I am over-thinking all of this. But I struggle with dropping my plans and listening to God, when everywhere I turn I am told to always have a back up plan, to have a direction in life, and to make goals. How do I balance those two? Is there even a balance? -- or do I literally drop everything and only do the things God tells me to? I do know that I am supposed to obey God first and foremost, above anyone else -- so I am praying that He'll speak to me (directly, or through other people) about all of these questions I have.

I also know that although God might not tell me directly what He wants for me, He will close whatever doors He needs to until I am pointed in the direction He wants me.

It's the waiting game that's hurting me so bad.
love,k

P.S. Please pray that these things won't weigh on me so heavily that I am distracted from doing the things God wants me to do this year -- that I will have peace about it all. I seem to struggle with all of these thoughts and ideas every time I am back in the Philippines.

Tudo (Rain)

Well, I made it through my first day as English teacher!! It went well, for the most part. My students were very quiet and shy, though. I am hoping that after a few lessons they will become more talkative. By the end of today's lesson they were answering my questions and seemed to understand the basic parts of speech I taught them using the sentence: "Silly Billy, a nice friend, ran quickly to the park and sang Susan a song."

The textbook that the teachers in the past have used for this class is okay for basic English learning on your own, but does not provide much to use in a classroom setting -- it basically just allows for lectures. Since that would be completely boring for me and for the students, I have been adding some of my own (and my mom's -- it helps having an English teacher for a mom!!!) ideas. The school year began in June, and they supposedly covered two chapters already, but in my review of those chapters I found that they didn't have any grasp of the material.....it makes me sad to think that all they've been getting in class are lectures straight from the textbook -- word for word!!! Rather than move on to the third chapter, I've decided to go back over the things they have covered but don't understand. I think having a "native" English speaker teach the class should help.

Naragsak nak (I am happy) to say -- I have learned some Ilocano!!! (The dialect they speak here -- Tagalog is the national language, but there are many dialects.) Tonight the people I'm staying with hosted a party, and some of the young people from church stayed around afterwards - they are the ones who taught me. I already knew some things, but I am learning more and more. Hopefully by the end of my stay I will be able to communicate..... once I get the hang of the "ng" sound!!


Naimbag a rabiiyo amin! (Good night to you all!...I will have to check my grouping of the words -- everything blends together when you say it, so I'm not sure how to piece it together.)
love,k

Storytelling

Before I'd ever been to the Philippines, I heard lots of stories -- mostly from my dad, but some from other people as well. It sounded like a great place, but not much different from other places I'd heard about. You know how when someone returns from a short-term (or even long-term) mission trip and tries to tell stories, people are excited to hear at first but lose interest quickly? I've been on both sides of that situation -- the frustrated person trying to share my excitement and the bored listener ready to move on to the next topic. Hearing about the Philippines was just another story. Of course, now I think I was wrong. The Philippines seem much different than any other place, in more ways than the culture or the climate. I have always thought that there was "something" about it here that made it great, that I couldn't quite figure out. I've finally realized that that "something" is not unique to the Philippines - it's God's love. Over the past year and a half he has shown me His love for these people, and placed a tiny portion (which for me was HUGE) of that love for them in my own heart.

Today was Sunday -- the worship service this morning was indescribable, as always. God was so, so, SO present.....I don't think I have been to a service here that hasn't given me chill bumps or brought me to tears. It is different than any of the conferences or events I've been to at home, and like I said, I can't describe it. The sound system is inadequate, the microphones are loud, the room is hot, and the pews are hard and uncomfortable. But every person in there has such a desire to be with God; they are all incredibly in love with Him. Maybe what amazes me the most is the joy these people have in the midst of everything they go through.

I don't know. I don't want to turn you guys into the bored listeners on the other end of my stories, so I won't try and go into unnecessary detail.

I start teaching tomorrow!!! Pray that all goes well -- I am not as nervous as I was before; in fact, I feel quite confident. I just hope I can remember the names of my 4 students. :)

love,k

Here I am!

I'm finally in Laoag!! Everything worked out perfectly as I traveled here -- God really had His hand in it. I was surrounded by helpful and friendly people on my flights and even in the streets of Manila. Every detail has been taken care of -- my luggage, hotel reservations, taxi drivers, etc, etc, etc.

I have felt for some time that God would use this trip to stretch me in the area of prayer, and I have already begun to see it happening.

Yesterday, my last day of traveling, was perhaps the most stressful time I have ever had on a mission trip. My original flight to Laoag was canceled, and I had to make my way from ticket office to ticket office until I finally straightened things out and paid for a later flight with a different airline. I had difficulty checking in, could not contact anyone in Laoag to tell them about my new travel arrangements, and risked running out of money as I paid for an unexpected new plane ticket, taxi, excess baggage, and the terminal fee. However, I spent the entirety of three hours floating in and out of prayer, and God took excellent care of me. I was placed on a flight with Pastor Florie Santiago, one of the women with whom I am staying here in Laoag, and had an automatic ride home from the airport because of it!!!

I start my work here next week. Please pray that God will prepare my heart for the things He has in store for me this year.
I love you all and appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

love,k

Traveling

I haven't been able to write in my blog yet, as I'm currently in the process of traveling to the Philippines. I'll update it as soon as I arrive safely, so check back!

love,k