Responsibilities, or lack thereof

Hey guys, just have some thoughts I feel like sharing. Lately I’ve been having a hard time with several things (you’ll see what some of those are) – I’ve been up and down emotionally, spiritually, and every other way. But (praise the Lord) things are incredible now!

I think what helped me the most in all of this was coming to grips with my pride. It's something I've always struggled with, but until now I didn't realize just how bad things had gotten. It's taken over my thought life, my speech, my attitudes, my opinions, even my emotions!! This past Saturday afternoon I talked with a friend of my dad’s about several things, and it really helped me out. I already listed them in another email, so I'll just copy/paste it....

1. We should take every opportunity to let people know we are Christians. This does not necessarily involve saying "Hey guys, I'm a Christian, and if you're not you should be!" as much as living a Christlike life. As my dad’s friend put it, "when you are real, people know it and even though it may seem people don't listen, when the chips are down and people are in trouble, they'll remember you and trust you and turn to you." I'm excited because I've seen this in my own life. There are people who know I'm a Christian, and I've never once told them that I am. I'd like to think that they know through my actions and speech; my attitude. However, lately this has been something I’ve forgotten about. I haven’t been concerned about the opinions people here have of me, because of course they know I’m a Christian! I’m a missionary, right? But the point isn’t them knowing whether or not I’m a believer, the point is them seeing that I’m living for Christ. – On a side note, this was also Pastor Florie's sermon on Sunday – another confirmation that the Lord wanted me to remember this!! I've been reminded lately of 1 Timothy 4:12, and that in order to bring change to the people here (who are believers), the most important thing to be doing is living for God. This goes along with point number 2.....
2. We are in no way responsible for changing people's hearts; for converting them. Only God can do that. We are, however, His ambassadors (see 2 Cor. 5:11-21), called only to "act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). Through fearing the Lord and doing what He has asked – commanded – us to do, we'll persuade people to do the same (2 Cor. 5:11). God does these things THROUGH us. We do nothing FOR Him.
3. God is a God of relationship... This is a common theme throughout Scripture. These relationships include: God in relationship with Himself, God in relationship with Creation, God in relationship with man, man in relationship with man, man in relationship with God.
4. (This kind of goes with #3) God is our model for literally everything. Such an obvious "point," but something I personally often forget.

I had really been struggling with #2 – not in the sense that I feel responsible for converting people, but that I sometimes feel responsible for the choices, lifestyles, and mindsets of other people – especially now that I'm over here. It's like I want so badly to help the youth group here, and sometimes I forget that I will never truly be able to make them draw nearer to the Lord. That's between Him and them. It’s so nice to know that.

Also, my desire to spend time with the Lord has been renewed! Rather than dutifully pulling out my Bible and reading one chapter a day, I get so caught up in what I'm reading that I don't want to stop!! I'm reading through 1 and 2 Samuel right now – books I don't think I've ever read straight through – and loving it. I'm learning a lot and I'm so excited to be so excited. It's great, because even though there have been "slow times," I'm learning to spend those times with the Lord, rather than spending them sulking.

Thanks for your prayers and encouraging words!! I feel so blessed by all of you.

love,k